![]() They try to convince us that Beast Clare is Snow White or Sleeping Beauty again, when she calls her friend, the raccoon. We take a break from the drama and check in with the rest of the gang. My biggest regret is that I cannot write this blog in gel pen. ![]() And by letters, I mean notes I passed with my friends in 7th grade. ![]() It’s like they found my letters and read each one out loud. Prince Hans from Frozen? Honestly, watching this whole scenario play out touches a chord with me. Kentucky Joe-ciopath refuses to stop being an asshole. Jared, Josh, and JJ (worth double points in Scattergories!) all tell Joe to make things right with Juelia. Juelia cries to a crowd of sympathetic blondes while Welder Josh rubs her back. When they return from their date, they rub it in Juelia’s face. Kentucky Joe-ciopath gets h.j.s in the pool and S(h)am gets to jump-start a career in catalog modeling. Samantha and Joe’s date is a sexy photo shoot for People Magazine that involves his erection and her smizing for her life. Leading on a widowed single mother and intimidating and manipulating Jonathan and Mikey was just for style points. For whatever reason, their devious plan to hook up and stay together must all be a secret. The prize for winning this show, by the way, is each other, so I can only assume Bachelor In Paradise is cheaper than a motel. I know we’re supposed to recognize them as The Villains, but can we just talk about how totally sad this is? Two people schemed before coming on the show that they would hook up and do whatever it took to stay together until they won. She immediately asks Evil Kentucky Joe on a date. Samantha rolls up in her favorite white crochet flare pants, determined to break her habit of dating bad men. So of course this is the moment we meet Samantha, the girl of Joe’s dreams. Juelia talks about how good a husband and father Evil Kentucky Joe would be, and everyone is apparently under a nondisclosure agreement to keep his intentions a secret from her. Nice Guy Jonathan, terrible at faking good intentions, goes home, and so do Michael and Mikey, also terrible at everything. He looks as shocked as the rest of us that he’s still on the show. After a good shaming, Beast Clare gives her rose to JJ, because whatever who cares. She’s this guy:Ĭlare runs out of the Rose Ceremony and she’s all, “My rose is down to its last sagging petals, and I have to entrust it to one of these clowns? Kidnapping a woman to make her fall in love with you used to mean something.”Ĭhris “Paid To Do It” Harrison follows her out and can barely conceal his look of contempt. She’s not some young naif who shacks up with a bunch of losers until her dream man molests her out of a drugged slumber (Snow White), nor is she the child raised in isolation until her dream man molests her out of a drugged slumber (Sleeping Beauty). We will keep your name confidential.So I’ve got Clare totally wrong. If you have any tips or information on the D-list celebs we follow please email us at. If James was not … Read more Categories Vanderpump Rules, Vanderpump Rules season 5 Tags Ellie Mumin, Gerelyn Gilbert, GG Gilbert, GG Gilbert Vanderpump, Gigi Vanderpump Rules, James Kennedy, James Kennedy alcoholic, James Kennedy bisexual, James Kennedy dated, James Kennedy drunk, James Kennedy Ellie, James Kennedy fired, James Kennedy gay, James Kennedy Gerelyn Gilbert, James Kennedy GG, James Kennedy Gigi, James Kennedy girlfriend, James Kennedy Jenna, james kennedy jenna willis, james kennedy Lauren, James Kennedy Lisa Vanderpump, James Kennedy male escort, James Kennedy prostitute, James Kennedy Raquel, James Kennedy Raquel Leviss, James Kennedy real name, James Kennedy sex, James Kennedy slept with, James Kennedy SUR, Raquel Leviss, Raquel Leviss James Kennedy, Vanderpump Rules Ellie Leave a comment I will update it as more women come forward. The list of women who have had the unfortunate experience of sleeping with or dating 25-year-old Vanderpump Rules star James Kennedy is growing bigger by the minute so I better just start this list now.
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